so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize