but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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