it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
