What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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