He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
