You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
His hands were made for my vagina.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
