i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
