I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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