my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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