this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
