I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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