I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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