I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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