You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
