So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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