it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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