I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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