I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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