Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
