So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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