well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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