That's intense
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
