Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
