...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
