Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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