His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize