i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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