I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i drank out of a bidet.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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