i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
