I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
