I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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