it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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