I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
