Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Found your dick twin last night
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
