It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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