Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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