He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
