my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
