Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
