He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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