So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
