my phone needs a breathalizer
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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