Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just pee around me
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
