i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
