he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
