so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize