this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
