your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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