i just wanna soil my oats bro
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize