Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
