is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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