Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
