So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
