found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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