R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
