Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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